Jokes
What do you do if a mackem throws a hand grenade at you? Pull out the pin and throw it back
What do you say to a mackem in a suit? Would the defendant please rise
Why should Sunderland fans be burried 100 feet deep? Because they keep telling us that deep down they are really good people.
A Geordie, a Smogmonster and a mackem all arrive at the Pearly gates together. St. Peter informs them that to gain entry to heaven they must each answer one question correctly. With that St. Peter turns to the Geordie and asks him "what is the name of the ship that sank, they made a movie about it", the Geordie correctly answers the Titanic and so St. Peter allows him into heaven. The he turns to the Smogmonster and not really wanting to let him in asks a harder question and asks how many people died when that ship sank, lucky the smog had just seen the movie so was able to correctly answer "about 1,500" so St. Peter let him in. He then turns to the mackem and says "right then, name them".
If a smogmonster and a mackem both of the same height, weight and age jumped off the top of the Effel Tower on a dry sumemrs day, who would hit the ground first? Who really Cares?
The next time you're having a bad day just image this. You are a mackem siamese twin, your brother is gay and you are straight but you both share the same arsehole! Worse still, he is a season ticket holder at Sunderland.
What have you got if they are one thousand mackems buried upto their necks in sand? Not enough sand.
Why wasn't Christ born in Sunderland? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Whats the difference between Sunderland AFC and a toothpick? A toothpick has more points.
What do you throw a mackem when he is drowning? His wife and kids.
Three pregnant women (A Georfie, a mackem and an African) are totally devestated when their newborn baby boys get mixed up in the maternity ward. The nurses are so embarassed but decide to sort it out by letting the dads pick their baby. The Geordie has first pick and says "give me the black one, just to play safe".
A little mackem boy asks his dad how many points Sunderland have? His dad looks at his son and says proudly "Nine, we have nine points son" to which the son then asks "so then dad, where is my Easter Egg?".
Three mackems go for a job on a building site. The first one goes into the gaffers office and is told that if he answers on question correctly he has the job. The boss asks "what is 3+3+3" and the mackem tell him that the answer is 106. The next mackem was asked the same question and gave the answer 'Wednesday'. The third mackem comes into the office and by now the gaffer is getting very frustrated, "Are you good at simple arithmatic" he asks and the mackem nods and asks that same question again "what is 3+3+3" t which the mackem answers 9. A relieved gaffer gives him the job but asks, "how did you arrive at that answer" and the mackem tell him "it was wasy, i just took 106 away from Wednesday".
What do you get if you give a mackem a penny for his thoughts? Change
How many mackems does it take to change a lightbulb? None as they are all qutie happy living in the shadows.